This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize