my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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