you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
