i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
