Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize