so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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