i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
