I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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