If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
In America we eat man semen.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
