my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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