You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
