whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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