I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize