My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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