Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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