I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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