you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize