you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
