Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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