He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
