Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
