Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
