Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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