Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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