i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
