My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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