I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
