I just made out with a guy for $7.
Don't make out with my wife yet
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
