why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
