Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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