I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize