I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize