So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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