Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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