We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
