I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize