i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize