Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
