Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
