That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
