omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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