His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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