Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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