Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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