He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
not ubering you a puppy
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