Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need to align my fucking chakras
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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