margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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