these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
