You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
whose parrot is this?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
