garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
