dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
