yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
