Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
soo... how was my night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
