Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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