Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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