Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
