I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We got so high we made milksteak
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
