:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
