Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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