Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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