It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
