u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well I just put wine in my tea
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
