1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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