ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
