My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
