wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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