the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
