Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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