Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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