Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
