I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
