i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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