I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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