Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
