epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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