I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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