If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
