You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
