I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
