Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
