didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize