You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
