through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
