i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
