Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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